More than a Family – A Crew

Inspired by words I recently heard from the first woman to orbit the moon, our first night in Grenada, I read this to my family: “A crew is a group that is in it all the time, no matter what, that is stroking together every minute with the same purpose, that is willing to sacrifice silently for each other, that gives grace, that holds accountable. A crew has the same cares and the same needs, and a crew is inescapably, beautifully, dutifully linked.” -Christina Koch

I am seeing our family become more than a family, a crew – right before my eyes. The other day we had to dock – we reviewed the procedures, talked about the importance of the roaming fender, practiced throwing lines and quickly securing and adjusting fenders, talked about the importance of communication and safety for the dockhands, our crew, Elizabeth, and the boats and their families around us. We talked about respect for the currents and winds. The result – spectacular – everyone played a critically important role. We stepped in for each other where needed, and we docked safely and efficiently. Every day is full of these little moments where I see our family becoming crew.

A month ago, Henry would have asked me what was for breakfast or maybe even just stated he was hungry in the morning. I would have invited him to help make breakfast; he may have opted for a bowl of cereal instead. The other day, he asked me if we had a waffle recipe, went and got it, pulled out the ingredients, and made waffles. 

Yesterday, I asked Grace to bring some dirty dish towels to the laundry bucket on the bow. A half hour later, I found those, along with a bunch of other laundry, cleaned and pinned on the lifeline to dry.

Last night after dinner, as we were all cleaning up, I noticed the dishes were done (Henry) and the table, seats, and floor wiped and vacuumed (Grace) as I finished putting the leftovers in the fridge. A month ago, I would have had to coach them on how to properly wash or ask 3 times for all the crumbs to be completely removed from the floor.  At home, we called helping with a meal, laundry, or clean-up chores. Out here, they're simply part of being crew.

Importantly, our crew is growing beyond practiced mariner standard operating procedures for maneuvers and simple daily cooking and cleaning. Our crew is truly taking care of and looking out for each other each moment and stepping up where needed.

The other night, after enjoying a beach bonfire with friends on a little island, we found ourselves loading in Hank (the dinghy) to get back to Elizabeth (the Cat) as daylight was rapidly fading. Our dinghy was one of many tied to a tiny dock, and I didn’t notice, but Henry noticed I was getting a little anxious. I don't particularly enjoy driving at night. We have navigation lights, I know the route, and it wasn't unsafe—but just like driving a car, I simply prefer daylight.

I was rushing.

Trying to untie quickly.

Trying to get everyone moving.

Henry noticed.

Without any frustration or attitude, he looked at me and smiled.

"Mom - Slow is Pro."

Our sailing instructor, Nico, repeated those words to us constantly during training.

Slow is smooth.

Smooth is safe.

Slow is professional.

Henry was absolutely right.

I took a breath, slowed down, and everything became easier.

What struck me wasn't just that he remembered the lesson. It was that he recognized I needed the reminder.

My fourteen-year-old noticed that I was becoming flustered and lovingly coached me back to a better way.

That moment made me incredibly proud.

Living on a boat has changed our family dynamic.

The kids aren't simply helping us anymore.

They're becoming true partners.

They each have real jobs that matter. When we leave the dock, when we anchor, when we tack, everyone has responsibilities that directly affect our safety. They know it, and perhaps more importantly, they can see why it matters.

I've noticed something about boat kids. They're remarkably independent, hard workers, and critical thinkers. Not because their parents demand it, but because life afloat naturally creates opportunities to contribute, and they take them. They solve problems, anticipate needs, and carry responsibility because everyone around them does the same.

Somewhere between docking, laundry, making waffles, and reminding Mom to "Slow is Pro," my kids quietly became my crew.

And I couldn't be prouder.