Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail

Last week was a complete blur. Our sailing instructor, Nico, came aboard S/V Elizabeth for five nights, and every single day was better than the last. We finally got off the dock and made our way to the leeward side of Grenada. Night one, we had our first panoramic sunset view over the open ocean. I spent the whole week saying, " This is so beautiful”… and the further we went, the more beautiful it got; I simply can’t believe this is real life. The morning after that first full day of sailing, I was reminded of my high school days visiting Geoff and Mary, learning to snowboard. Geoff would wake me before daylight, day after day, so we could be on the lifts again from open to close. He would wake me up, and my first thought would be – you have got to be kidding me, hell no, can I do that again today - every muscle hurts, I’m exhausted, I can hardly get out of bed, how will I work that hard physically again all day?  And then I’d get in the warm truck and eat the breakfast sandwich he had prepared and find my peace as we approached the mountains for another day of pure magic. I could remember on that trip thinking - I want to marry someone like Geoff who can not only keep up with me, but push me harder and be stronger and faster and more adventurous than me - someone to help me find everything this world has to share. And as I reflected on that - I thought - I’ve done it - how blessed I am to be living this life with Matt. How thankful I am that he has helped make this crazy dream of mine come true. This is hard - in so many ways, and I’m so thankful to have a partner who also loves this kind of hard and this level of adventure. On morning 2 of sailing lessons, I had that same - “oh shit, how am I supposed to do that again today?!” feeling. I was mentally exhausted. One thing Nico said on Day 1 was “Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail” – that was on my mind all week. I worked as hard as I could to learn and practice as much as possible, from the moment I woke up until the moment my head hit the pillow. It is not just learning to trim sails - there are boat systems to work, I already know more about diesel engines and water makers and generators than I ever imagined, there is a ton safety knowlege, physics of sailing, weather principles, charting and navigating… so much to learn! Physically, I was also pretty tired – working the lines is the kind of arm (and back, and leg) workout dreams are made of – I am going to be so buff! Emotionally, it was also a lot - in such a good way. I have never felt more peace than I did standing at the helm, surrounded by nothing but the beautiful open ocean, feeling the wind all around me, and my family piled together in the cockpit behind me. There were several moments when tears came to my eyes simply because of the overwhelming gift of it all. At first, sailing felt impossibly complicated. I was constantly trying to figure out the wind, our point of sail, and how to stop oversteering. Then, little by little, it started to click. I started to “feel the groove”. Instead of staring at the instruments, I could look out at the horizon, feel the wind on my skin, watch the waves, glance at the sails, and simply know the point of sail, and feel how we would surf down the next wave. I don't really have words for that feeling. Freedom. Flow. Complete peace. Like, for just a little while, I was perfectly in sync with the wind, the water, and the boat. Time was standing still. During our lesson, we also had the meal of a lifetime at Tim’s - it is literally the only thing on the beach accessible by boat only, with only 3 mourning balls, reservations only, and Tim cooked up a family-style seafood feast that was truly one of the best meals I've ever had. And the view – indescribable.  To make it even more unbelievable, the kids found a baby leatherback turtle on the beach and helped usher it out to sea. There were tons of snorkeling sessions, turquoise waters, and kind people we met at our different dinner stops along the way. The week just disappeared, and what I learned is I LOVE SAILING!!! – I love everything about it, I love the easy, peaceful moments, I love the challenging, intense moments, and I can’t wait to see what else sailing has to show me. After Nico left, we took two days to rest, reorganize the boat, catch up on schoolwork, and let everything we had learned sink in. Today we set off on our very first sail with just the four of us. There wasn't much wind, it was a short trip, and catching our mooring ball wasn't exactly graceful, but we got there. Tonight we're the only boat tucked into a beautiful little harbor. Grace and I enjoyed a swim from our boat to the beach and back. Henry broke out the fish finder and a rod. Tomorrow we'll head back toward the anchorage where many of the cruising families are staying, so the kids can reconnect with friends they met before our sailing course and hopefully meet even more people from this incredible cruising community. Every day we leave the anchorage, we're a little more capable, a little more confident, and a little more in love with this life than we were the day before.